Learn The Power Of Saying No For A Happy Stress Free Life
We often believe the word "no" to be a negative, dirty two-letter word, and sometimes it is. But do you reply with "yes" a bit too often to things you do not want to do to avoid disappointing someone else?
If you are a people pleaser, you might be all too familiar with this frustrating scenario. You likely feel it's a small sacrifice to keep the peace.
But if saying yes becomes a habit, especially to things you don't want to do, dark clouds may form above you.
This article explores why saying "no" can be challenging for many people. And we'll offer practical tips to help you embrace the power of "no" to improve your outlook on life.
The Cost of Never Saying "No"
Do you find yourself forever putting other people's needs before your own?
If this is you, and as natural as it may seem, you could risk your mental wellbeing in the long run.
Why is that? I hear you ask.
If you regularly struggle to decline requests, that can be a constant drain on your time. And time is worth more than gold. So that emotional turmoil can be compelling and telling.
And, if you are like me when I was a people pleaser, you become frustrated for not standing up for yourself. Not respecting your desires, wants and needs builds resentment. And that can take a dark hold over you.
Failing to respect your needs while pandering to others can result in low self-esteem. And in the long term, anxiety or even depression could be your darkened destiny.
With that in mind, this is something that needs addressing.
The truth is, you don't have to battle those negative thoughts. And you don't have to harbour that built-up passive aggression. Now is the time to stop feeling like your life is spiralling uncontrollably.
Because, at the end of the day, other people's demands are not your problem. And they never should be.
So, saying "no" is about preserving your own happiness, that is true. But it's also about maintaining your sense of self-worth.
And self-worth is a value you should never neglect or forget for anybody, regardless of who they are.
The Challenge of Saying "No"
Why is it so difficult for many people to utter that simple two-letter word?
Why is it so soaked in negativity, disdain and dread that we fear it and go out of our way to avoid it?
And this is true for the workplace as well as social gatherings.
It's my belief that showing assertiveness is often construed as being rude. The fear of people not liking us if we decline their requests. Prioritising our own needs comes across as being selfish.
But these are deep-rooted beliefs ingrained into our subconscious minds. Programming since childhood bears no relevance in today's world.
Did you ever receive a short, sharp "no" from your parents or teachers as a child? That instant cut-off to unwanted behaviour or request for wants and needs.
These deep-rooted beliefs can make asserting yourself seem impossible. But always remember, saying "no" at times establishes healthy boundaries.
Tips for Making "No" Easier
1. Realise that you will have to say “no” to good things too:
Saying "no" isn't reserved solely for things that don't interest you. Sometimes, you'll need to decline even when the opportunity seems fantastic and exciting.
For instance, imagine you're a sought-after speaker, and various organisations want you to speak at their events. It may be tempting to accept every invitation, but you must balance your family life with your career aspirations. Choose events that align with your schedule and future goals, not just those that seem appealing at the time.
2. People will respect you:
Dr. Phil McGraw, the American TV personality, wisely said: "We teach people how to treat us."
So if you agree to every request, even if it doesn't serve your best interests, you're letting other people know it's okay to disregard your needs. And that is how they will end up treating you.
Saying "no" with confidence preserves your dignity and self-respect. Remember, you control your schedule, and it's crucial not to let others dictate it.
3. Realise that your needs are as important as the person making the request of you:
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, so once those hours are gone, they're gone forever. You must realise your dreams and goals are just as valuable as anyone else's.
You will find it hard to achieve fulfilment or your dream life if you spend too much time pleasing others. Remember, time is the most precious thing you can have. Treasure it and look out for your happiness, as well as others.
Tips to Keep in Mind When Saying "No"
1. It's not always permanent:
When you decline a request, it doesn't necessarily mean it's terminal. For example, if a friend asks for your help when you have prior commitments, try proposing an alternative date that works for both of you. Flexibility can make saying "no" a lot more palatable.
2. Other's reactions are not your responsibility:
If someone doesn't understand or becomes upset when you decline a request or invitation, that's their issue, not yours. It may seem harsh, but you should never feel guilty for prioritising your needs and boundaries.
3. Saying "yes" to one is saying "no" to another:
Each time you agree to someone else's request, you're sacrificing precious time for yourself. Consider the activities or self-care moments you miss out on by constantly saying "yes" to others.
Embrace the "No" for a Happier You
In conclusion, it's time to shift your perspective on saying "no." Doing so is not only perfectly acceptable but also essential for your wellbeing.
Embrace the power of turning down some requests. It will build your self-esteem, give you a happier outlook on life, and a stronger sense of control over your destiny.
Don't let the fear of disappointing others hold you back from living a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Choosing when and which requests to accept is your path to freedom, self-respect, and true happiness.
So, go ahead and practice saying "no," and watch how it transforms your life for the better.
